i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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