There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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