You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
oh god the rape fog is back!
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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