but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
