She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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