now i know why i became what i already was.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
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I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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