4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize