oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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