She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
