Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
