i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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