around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
