It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize