Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
