Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
