We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
