Umm I'm too high to move.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
