You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize