I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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