yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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