So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
