So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
