i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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