you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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