i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
