he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
