4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
