Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
