the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
