Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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