you guys were way drunker than both of me
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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