oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
