I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize