The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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