I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the liver wants what the liver wants
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
