in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
