one word: firstdatebathroomanal
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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