the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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