im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
