If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
