I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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