I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
