my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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