It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
