i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
