Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
