dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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