my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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