Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
