just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
