I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
