Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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