Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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