yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
