Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
