My room smells like vodka and shame
too bad you live with your parents still
I wish I only lived at night.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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